If only that had been different, if he had done that or she did it that way, things would be different and even better. How often do we voice blame for what we have in our life right now?
When we choose to live our life wearing our ‘blame coat’ things will never be the way we want them to be. We hear ourselves saying “but I don’t have time”, “I don’t have the money”, “there are other priorities”, “they made me do it”, “there are no other options” and other excuses that we put on the table for not doing what we truly want to do. The more this happens, the more we continue to wear the ‘blame coat’ the unhappier we get, the worse our situation gets. The negative thinking will set in to support the unhappiness that we feel and down the rabbit hole we could go. Is the rabbit hole here right now and taking our energy away, does this sound familiar?
Is there another solution? Could there be a different way? Can we have something different? Absolutely yes we can! We can have anything we want. Our first step is to constructively look at what we have, what thoughts are we having that supports where we are at? We know that our thoughts become things therefore considering what we are thinking is important here. Next step will be to ask some good questions to ourselves, “What are we getting from doing this?”, How is this helping us in our life”, “Is this getting us to where we want to be?”, “How is this serving us?”
If it’s not serving us then what would encourage us to continue doing it? It could be a strategy, behaviour, a way of speaking, a look we give, a frame we put on something, the way we show up in a situation it could be anything. If we take a good look at what is not supporting us, then picture what we do want, this is a great place to start. The more we visualise what we want, the more the feeling rises, the more desire we will have to move forward to get it. The visual together with the feeling is our driver!
We have the ability to make a choice to have something different, we can choose to be our unique, authentic and beautiful self. We can choose to be original and be proud and really step into it. We can choose to go with our convictions and fully show up in our life. We can choose to be a different role model to our children and family. We have the right to choose; sometimes we simply need to give ourselves permission to do it.
Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezo’s commencement speech to Princeton’s class of 2010 started with “Tomorrow in a very real sense your life, the life you author from scratch on your own begins”. How will you use your gifts, what will you choose?” At any moment we can choose to do things differently, we can choose to start our life tomorrow; we can start writing it differently, running it the way we want we can start to fully show up in our life. We simply choose to do so.
How different would our life be if we lived with conscious choices instead of living by chance? If we picture sitting at our own funeral at 80-90 years old and we look back on our life, we will notice it’s been a series of choices that we have made. Some of these choices will have given us amazing results and some of these will have given us results to learn from. If we can know right now that all the choices that we make may not be the right ones however the choices we make are the ones that we choose to make and they are the ones that we will experience our journey from. The most important thing to remember is that they are our choices and no one else’s. We are here to be useful not used; we are here to make changes not live in excuses. We were given our inner voice / intuition to grow and develop from, to live our life from not to be swayed by other people’s opinions or thoughts on how we should live our life.
Where will we choose to make our decisions from? What do we want to be different? When do we want some differences to begin and what do we truly want our life to be like?
Steps to building a great story for LIFE!
- Model Actions of those who we consider to be successful (this will be similar to what we are choosing to achieve). Model the way they are with their finances, in their relationships, what they do physically and spiritually. This supports us getting into a more productive state, meaning we will more easily control our state to be supportive and productive. Notice the choices we are making allowing ourselves to go here.
- Create new and supportive rituals. Choosing to do things differently will support our new direction, eat healthier, learn about foods and toxins so they can be eliminated from our life, make time to be with our partner, with our children, with other family. Make time for exercise this develops a clearer head for making better choices and decisions. Make time to find new employment, find a new partner or enjoy a different hobby. Life comes from our rituals and our rituals take us into state or out of state. Our states are what support our life.
- “If you do the right thing at the wrong time, you will be in pain” Anthony Robbins
- Change our physiology and state. Be aware of our body language and what it’s sending out, if we are unhappy then the unhappy vibration will radiate from us, if we are sad, angry, upset this is where we operate from. By making a choice to acknowledge those emotions and then choosing to learn and move on the clearer and happier we will become. The happier, more motivated and productive we are the better the vibration we give off. By choosing a more positive vibration we will be more fun and will get bigger and better support for anything we want.
- Focus! Focus on what we want – good strong focus! “Focus is controlled by questions; ask ourselves better questions to create a better state”. Better state better outcomes. “Asking lousy questions create lousy answers. Great questions create a great life”. Anthony Robbins.
- Get support! Changing physiology and states, and asking great questions can often be challenging to do alone. Get support from A Coach and change our life from today, because ‘Today is the First Day of the Rest of Our Life’.
- Take a break. Taking time out from our normal environment is helpful to fully look at the changes we want to make. Getting clear on the future we wish to have is combining all that is mentioned above, the physiology, the new state, the focus and the rituals. Take a break alone for a few days or take a break and be supported in making some changes with an Inspirational Living Retreat. Give ourselves permission to ‘take a break’ and clear our heads to embrace the rest of our lives.
Resources and exercises to support this article: “Unleashing Your Power – Tony Robbins. Unleash the Power Within is about not waiting any longer. It’s about seizing the power that is already within and challenging us to lead a life of our own design, rather than one that’s been scripted by our environment, society or anyone else”. See Tony Robbins YouTube short clip/s.
An exercise from Tony Robbins to assist in changing our state, is to sit up straight in our chair now, and state what we could be proud of in our life right now, what would it be? Feel that feeling, now sit with it and capture the physiology of the impact it’s having on our body. Keep it, feel it and move forward with it. These feelings belong to us and we can use them anytime we wish!
The next exercise is; if we wanted to feel excited about our life, what could we get excited about right now? Once again, grab it and consider how feeling this way will impact on all those around us… the ripple effect is wonderful! We can keep this feeling and vibration for as long as we wish it’s simply a choice.
Choose to make different choices; choose to be in the driver’s seat of our Bus of Life! Enjoy the change and enjoy the ride. Most importantly, enjoy the empowerment that will be created by making different choices.
Also published in havenmagazine.com
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