“Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be”. – Abraham Lincoln
Yes I’m happy, no I’m not happy. We feel like we’re riding an out of control emotional roller coaster. We say, “I’ll be happy when . . .” When what? When we have that great job (what does a great job look like?), when we get the 4×4 (what will that really give us?), the renovations done on the house (then there will be more) or even we’ll be happy when summer comes (what’s wrong with the other seasons?). The waiting to be happy or the constant chasing of happiness causes exhaustion and impacts negatively on us personally. It drags us down, upsets us, causes illness and sometimes dis-ease, encourages some of us to have a drink or two, grab another cigarette or even do drugs, legal or illegal, and any of these can become unhelpful habits.
Others appear to be happy, “so why can’t we?” It starts to eat away little by little and grinds us down. Still we keep going because, ‘Life goes on”.
We’re not meant to feel like this, well that’s what all the positive gurus say, “don’t worry, be happy”. The books say ‘the power of positive thinking’, ‘Ask and it is given’. Well, it isn’t happening right now, how can all that be true? We feel deprived, sad, angry and frustrated, this isn’t how we want to feel; where’s the bright side and how do we find it?
Living a life of optimism, contentment, joy and being on purpose is one reason we are on this planet. The power of positive thinking has been proven to assist us to live the life of our dreams, it helps with health and wellbeing and attracts into our lives that which we can learn from and be blessed by. Will things always be going well? No. Will things improve? Yes. If we want something different, will there need to be some changes made in the way we do things or even think? Yes!
When we have sad, angry or bad thoughts/emotions, what can we do with them? Well, stop, breathe and assess the emotions, ask “what’s causing these feelings”, be honest and feel them. It’s super helpful to write them out, thank them for coming, investigate the options and choose one to help us now. Having thoughts/emotions other than happy ones now and again is reality! The trouble comes when we refuse to acknowledge them or pretend they are something else, this confuses our minds. By allowing ourselves to have the ‘poor me’ attitude we play below the line being the victim instead of the victor; being the victor is owning life, being the winner, driving our ‘Bus of Life’ – being responsible. By embracing this thinking we choose to strive!
Even though the complexity of our world can be baffling, it is up to us to take control and drive our life the way we want it to go. Can things change? Absolutely yes!
Take control and ownership of Life.
- Smile, lighten up, laugh, it releases endorphins.
- If behaviours or thoughts are giving us outcomes we don’t like, change! If we want something different we must take responsibility and do something different.
- Sad or angry feelings – STOP! REASSESS! Be with these feelings/thoughts it helps move through faster, gives clarity and direction.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff, let it go.
- Operate from a place of love; ask our heart what it would do. Practise being in that heart space instead of the head space, the results are impacting.
- Spend quality time with children/partner or a pet.
- Be grateful for all we have. Be true and authentic and fully show up in life. Life is life – it’ll throw up challenges; operating from a place of contentment enables better management.
- Talk about what is happening, contact a professional life coach or psychologist.
- Bake cookies, create amazing meals.
- Take time observing any imbalances; reassess goals/timelines; it’s okay to change.
- Take action – it’s Vital!
- Write a gratitude journal. When fully appreciating what we have, more comes.
- Be specific when stating what we want, the more specific the easier it is to obtain.
- Be proud of our job, enjoy the sense of achievement.
- Love well, express appreciation, affection and friendship.
- Learn something new, stimulate the brain.
- Avoid toxic relationships.
- Take a reTREAT.
- Use our body as it was designed, walk, run, dance, stretch – any exercise is good.
- Choose to be happy.
When we are happy, content and stimulated our self-confidence rises and we feel empowered inside. Feeling empowered enables us to take on challenges with a focused and positive mindset.
Happiness is in our control and it’s our personal responsibility.
“Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances” – Benjamin Franklin
Also published in havenmagazine.com
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